Hello!
Decided to write a post.. I can't sleep. Lately I've been feeling unmotivated. I don't do anything productive. I want to, but I constantly discourage myself. I think I don't believe in myself.
Tonight, a good friend of mine told me that I need to dream BIGGER and set goals for myself. She is completely right! The problem about that is I don't know what I want.
Lets start with a few small goals:
1. I have to get out of bed by 10:30 the latest. (baby steps haha)
2. Pay off my credit card by the end of this year.
3. Get a second job.
4. Try to stay away from Gabriel.

ALSO..
I've decided that I must try one new thing a week. Whether it be a place, a restaurant, anything; I have to! I think this will help me explore and live my life with more satisfaction.

that is all.. XOXO

Still conflicted as ever

Soooooo... I've been partying quite a bit. I don't know if its because I missed being out in the nightlife and the scene or if its because I'm trying to suppress a sadness of some sort. Reflecting on my past relationship, I think about how messed up I felt and how my life was turned upside down. It's been 7 months.. 7 months that we have been apart yet still connected. I know the heart wants what the heart wants, but is my heart ok? I cant figure out if I want to be his again?! I don't know if I can do it. Some part of me thinks its dumb to put myself through it all over again. Another part of me can see what progress he has made and his strive to make me happy. I'm still conflicted and as usual I just don't know...
xoxo